Employees with outgoing personalities may seem like they could charm their way to the top of any company. But there’s a down side to being the life of the party, according to new research: People often assume their extroverted colleagues are poor listeners.
In psychology, introverts are thought to be depleted by socializing, whereas extroverts feed on cocktail party conversations, displaying the assertive, optimistic, and action-oriented qualities often found in a corporate leader.
Yet people often view extroverts as less interested in the thoughts and feelings of others, according to new research coauthored by Julian Zlatev, assistant professor at Harvard Business School. In addition, people perceive extroverts as inauthentic, adopting personas that suit their situation, according to the findings.
“They may be gregarious, they may be outgoing … but they may also be seen as not paying as much attention.”
Since feeling seen and heard is important, extroverts who seem to focus on themselves may lose credibility with colleagues, the findings suggest. The research has ramifications for workplace relationships, especially as teams try to rebuild trust after two years of pandemic-related stress. Teams are often reconnecting through online platforms like Zoom where it can be harder to read social cues.
“When you’re engaging with an extrovert in conversation, they may be gregarious, they may be outgoing, there may be other sociable signs that are positive, but they may also be seen as not paying as much attention,” explains Zlatev. They are seen, he says, as “hyper aware of the situation around them, trying to come off in a positive way to others, which can sometimes be seen as acting, like being in a situation and not actually being their authentic true self.”
Zlatev uncovered this dynamic in a series of studies conducted with coauthors Francis Flynn, professor at the Stanford Graduate School of Business, and Hanne Collins, an HBS doctoral student in organizational behavior. Their report, Are You Listening to Me? The Negative Link Between Extraversion and Perceived Listening, is forthcoming in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. The findings were a surprise to the researchers, who assumed that extroverts would be perceived as emotionally attuned.
“It was a little counterintuitive, considering that extroverts are viewed as very socially capable and gregarious people,” says Collins. “I assumed that they would be seen as good listeners as well, because, in my mind, that’s part of being sociable.”
Friendlier but less attentive?
The researchers conducted six studies involving nearly 2,500 subjects. In their first study, they surveyed about 150 MBA students about the listening skills of their classmates. After ranking themselves on a personality scale, students were asked to answer four questions, including: “If you were having a conversation with [classmate], to what extent would he or she … ‘listen to what you have to say, give you a chance to speak, remember what you had said the next time you see them, and be focused on things other than the conversation at hand.’”
Responses revealed a significant, negative relationship between an individual’s self-reported extroversion and group members’ ratings of that individual’s listening behavior. In other words, more extroverted individuals were seen as worse listeners.
“Extroverts may need to start thinking about different ways to engage in conversations.”
In a second study, the researchers investigated whether the same perception would hold true in interactions among strangers. The researchers asked 655 participants recruited from an online participant pool to think about a “familiar stranger”—someone they had seen a few times in the last couple of months but never interacted with, like a fellow passenger on a train.
Participants assessed how extroverted they thought the stranger might be, and then imagined a conversation with this person, predicting the extent to which this stranger would pay attention and listen attentively, or steer the conversation toward themselves. The researchers found that when participants rated strangers as more extroverted, they also said they were more likely to be poor listeners.
The research team replicated these results in four more studies. In one of the later studies, the researchers discovered that people deemed very extroverted were also rated highly in the ability to “self-monitor,” or to present a socially desirable image, rather than maintaining genuine interest.
Unexpected result amplified in pandemic workplaces
While extroverted managers and employees may feel discouraged by the results, the research points to practical methods for improving business relationships.
“Extroverts may need to start thinking about different ways to engage in conversations and maybe even be a little bit explicit about signaling that they’re listening,” says Zlatev.
“So, everyone, including extroverts, can use those cues strategically to signal that they’re cognitively engaged.”
Showing that you are listening can have a big payoff. When people feel heard, they tend to be less defensive, less anxious, and more relaxed. High-quality listening, research suggests, also increases creativity and improves work performance by boosting a person’s internal motivation to do a job, says Collins.
Perfecting listening cues during virtual meetings, say the researchers, is a vital art that comes with big rewards. “Whatever you can do to more directly convey that you are listening and are retaining information should be helpful,” says Zlatev.
Advice for the workplace
The authors provided some practical tips for workers to show they are listening:
- Offer verbal cues of listening. Repeat back and paraphrase what someone has just said.
- Make use of phrases like “right,” “yes,” and “mm-hmm” in conversation.
- Look for other ways to signal engagement—laugh at jokes and be silent when appropriate.
- Use a variety of nonverbal cues in conversation. Make eye contact, nod, and smile while talking.
- Assume an open posture. Keep your hands apart, not crossed or folded. Directly face the person with whom you are talking.
- Mirror the posture of the person with whom you are speaking.
“Generally, people really under-use these cues, especially the verbal cues,” says Collins. “So, everyone, including extroverts, can use those cues strategically to signal that they’re cognitively engaged.”
Feedback or ideas to share? Email the Working Knowledge team at hbswk@hbs.edu.
Image: Unsplash/Bernard Hermant
