by Hope
My fiance is here for the week. We are taking the kids to the state fair at the end of the week – kind of a mini-family vacay. But we are spending the first half of the week really starting to dig in to what life together, in the same household will look like. He is still living in Philadelphia, but we are thinking he will move here to Georgia either the end of the year or first quarter next year. So it’s time to tackle the nuts and bolts.
Blending our lives
This blending is very, very new to both of us. The most we have shared thus far has been a credit card which we have used for our almost monthly travel to see each other over the past year. We’ve got a lot to work out. And we want to be pre-emptive knowing that finances are one of the most common reason for relationships to fail and we both want this to be our forever.
I think the one good thing is that the kids are no longer young. Gymnast will graduate from high school this year. And while I will continue to have some financial obligations in regards to the kids, it’s won’t be the driving force behind my financial decisions any longer. I think that would make blending a lot more complicated. (His one son is grown.)
Between my work and our detailed talks, we’ve spent a lot of time exploring the mountains, the falls and the lakes with the dogs. We’ve eaten lots of homemade picnics on the deck, cooked great meals together and really starting to get into what we believe will become routine once he moves here. I love that the area we live at really does offer a plethora of free and low cost entertainment options year round, especially with the outdoors. And having the dogs, really does motivate us to get out.
The nuts and bolts
We are very much in line with our goals as far as not taking on any more debt and making travel a priority as time and finances allow. We both have a very clear view of each other’s financial obligations. And he knows that I am still looking at a couple more years to being debt free, aside from the mortgage. (He has no debt.) And our plan is to split the living expenses…mortgage, utilities, etc. He’s is inclined to have me handle all finances. And that works for me, but I am anxious for him to be very involved as far as decisions and oversight.
Our plan is to have separate and shared accounts. We will keep our personal income in our own accounts. And then use a “average” of monthly living expenses to both contribute on a regular basis for those expenses to a shared account. This has worked well for the twins in their shared living environment and most everything is automated so they do not have to think about it.
Extra expenses will be handled on a case by case basis.
I would love the BAD community’s expertise from their own experiences in blending a family/couple later in life when there are assets and such involved.
Hope is a digital marketing manager and foster/adoptive single mom to five kids. She has run her own consulting company for over 15 years and took a leap of faith returning to the corporate world in 2021 to a job and team she loves! Hope began sharing her journey with the BAD community in the Spring of 2015 and feels like she has finally mastered the balance between family first and wise financial decisions.
