Leave it to a character named “Vision” to see through the intersectional onslaught of the human condition and decimate everyone’s heart with a simple, profound notion: “What is grief if not love persevering.” Here are 15 alternatively sweet, silly, wise, and relatable movies that ultimately deal with the feeling that we’ve lost something and might never get it back.
1. American Underdog (2021)
Give Kurt Warner his roses. Counted out more than once only to prove himself time and again as a competitor and world-class athlete. Like Warner, and many people on the planet for that matter, American Underdog had quite a few things going against it.
What American Underdog does that’s so special is the movie itself feels like an act of healing – like Paddington 2 for families too scared to talk at Thanksgiving. Throw on American Underdog, watch Kurt Warner fall in love, give himself to something and someone greater than himself, and well you all just might finally agree on something, that with a little faith in anything; yourself, your spouse, your God, your family, or all of the above – you can achieve great things.
Then lose to Tom Brady in the Super Bowl.
2. Big Fish (2003)
Tim Burton’s melancholy fable of a movie sticks with you. Like the life it’s depicting, the parts don’t quite come together cohesively, but that’s the point. Big Fish is about reconciling the grief and mourning from the impending death of a complex and challenging loved one.
3. The Climb (2018)
This indie gem’s astounding long takes serve the film’s message: life is long, people are complex, and your heart will be broken – in numerous ways. But if you’re lucky, there will be a friend to have your back, apologize, and even if they steal your fiancé from you, at least take you on a fantastic vacation to explain it all.
Packing nearly 20 years in a 90-minute run time, The Climb is brisk, silly, and playful, with well-meaning characters and fantastic cinematography.
4. Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008)
Featuring an all-star cast, Forgetting Sarah Marshall asks questions about relationships, break ups, of why sometimes the best part of our life turns out to house our worst memories.
Forgetting Sarah Marshall imparts the hard, healing truth that heartbreak often offers a path to self-growth. In the aftermath of loss, we can find our strength, learn to laugh again, and courageously venture back into the world of love, wiser and stronger for our experiences.
5. Spider-Man 2 (2004)
Spider-Man 2 is about our grief in the face of challenging, selfless choices—poor Spider-Man’s crisis of confidence. It’s not rocket science to make connections between Spider-Man’s stress level in the film and his inability to perform his super-heroic duties with our own challenges.
6. About Schmidt (2002)
Be warned, Hummel figurines were hurt in making of this film. If you can get past that, About Schmidt is one of the movies on this list that deals directly with the loss of a loved one you’ve known for decades to the point of near institutionalization.
Following an unceremonious retirement and the loss of his wife, Jack Nicholson’s Schmidt is scolded for being cheap. Schmidt decides to get busy living by supporting a child in another country and taking the retirement RV on a journey across the country. His goal is to stop his daughter’s wedding in another state.
7. Star Trek: First Contact (1996)
Harsh criticism is pointed at Patrick Stewart’s Jean-Luc Picard in this Star Trek movie fundamentally about PTSD. Picard of Star Trek: The Next Generation was academic, a little droll, and an explorer and diplomat. In First Contact, he’s mean, vengeful, shoot first, and barks orders like a naval captain at war.
Folks are right when they say this is out of character for Picard. But are folks traditionally themselves when faced with their captors?
8. Magnolia (1999)
Over its three-hour runtime, Magnolia weaves a complex tapestry of emotions. It takes viewers to the depths of grief and fear, through the tangled complexities of mourning, to amphibians who believe they can fly. Anderson throws a buffet of trauma to the viewer, emphasizing that such emotional rollercoasters are occurring everywhere and all the time for valid reasons. It’s called a vicious cycle for a reason.
9. Nobody’s Fool (1994)
You’ve met Paul Newman’s character in Nobody’s Fool or a version of him. Effortlessly charming with a bit of a playboy reputation. The closer you are to him, the more frustrating he becomes as that charm and charisma is used to avoid responsibility and actually get away via scams and side hustles his whole life.
Until now. Getting older and besieged by the news he’s a grandfather by way of his estranged son, Newman begins an incremental journey of self-reflection, redemption, healing and trying to break the patterns set upon us long ago.
10. Band Aid (2017)
Our heroes are married, stuck, and on each other’s nerves all the time. That is, until they sing their fights. Rage against middle-age ennui, I suppose.
Band-Aid takes a look at how we live together, why we drift apart, why we give up, and that romance lies in collaboration. Actual growth only ever lies within ourselves.
11. Manchester by The Sea (2016)
Maybe you don’t want answers. You don’t want to be told how to feel better, hydrate, take vitamins, and say your prayers. You want to be sad and feel sad and not be told to cheer up. You can’t. You won’t. Go away.
Enter Manchester by The Sea. An understated, expertly-written drama about death, grief, and guilt with a bittersweet message.
12. American Splendor (2003)
Have you got yourself a mid-life crisis going? You’re not who you thought you’d be, and it feels like time is running out to find your place in this increasingly cold and lonely world.
American Splendor defies convention. Pekar doesn’t become a nice man at the end. Still, instead, the world learns to love that this not-lovely, very messy man has some beautiful insight. His shaggy nature should not prevent us from taking him at his word and believing he means well. In a world of hurt, what better way to heal than by believing in the goodness of even the grumpiest of us?
13. The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (2022)
The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent’s heart lies in the intersection of conflict, mourning, and grief. It is about how our treasured memories almost always involve a third party of some sort. If you’ve ever had a connection with film to a loved one and miss them, or know you will one day, you’ll burst into very masculine tears watching The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent. It is like loading up a long lost memory before it happens.
14. Inside Out (2015)
Motion Pictures.
Inside Out, a jewel of Pixar’s oeuvre, is a masterclass in emotional literacy by literally personifying our feelings, gifting viewers (especially kids and families), tools to articulate feelings that are often hard to communicate.
Inside Out takes these abstract concepts and transforms them into characters – in essence following the lessons of CBT – cognitive behavioral therapy. CBT suggests naming our emotions so we can address them practically. This is the power of the movie.
15. The Lion King (1996)
The Lion King takes three minutes to go from an animated classic to an all-time masterpiece film. The young lion, Simba, blames himself for his father, King Mufasa’s, death. He turns away from his duty and birthright and wanders into the plains of Africa. Raffiki, the mystic mandrill, finds Simba and imparts somewhat painful but truthful wisdom understandable to all audiences.
