We’ve all been known to twist reality occasionally, whether through innocent fabrications, desperate acts of self-preservation, or even fooling our minds. Lying is a widespread game that we’re all familiar with. Folks on an online community share some of the funniest, most common lies we hear daily. Which of them are you guilty of?
1. “I Have Read and Agree to The Terms of Service.”
Raise your hand if you’ve clicked the “I Agree” button without glancing at the terms and conditions. We know deep down that those walls of text are just there to make us squirm. And honestly, who’s got the time or patience for all that legal jargon?
2. “I’m On My Way.”
Now, this one’s a timeless classic! When someone tells you they’re “on their way,” you might as well settle in for a mini-binge of your favorite TV show. We’ve learned that “on my way” translates to “I’ll be ready to leave in at least half an hour.” Don’t we all agree we’d prefer someone straightforwardly declaring, “Just hold tight for a solid hour!” rather than using the famous pledge of “I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
3. “I’m Fine.”
You’re on fire, missing a thumb, or limping like a drunken penguin, yet when someone asks how you’re doing, you instinctively reply with a cheery “I’m fine!” It’s like an unwritten rule forces us to hide our true feelings behind a mask of false positivity. Sometimes, even close friends and partners are not immune to this ridiculous social script.
A commenter shares, “Yeah, it always stops me in my tracks when someone replies with anything less than ‘I’m fine.’ That’s not in the script!” But seriously, folks, let’s break the cycle. You shouldn’t be ashamed to tell others when you feel less than fine.
4. “S/He Is Just a Friend.”
Ah, the famous line that rings alarm bells in relationships everywhere. Some of us have uttered these words at some point, usually accompanied by a sheepish grin and a well-rehearsed defense. But the truth has a funny way of coming out eventually. Good luck, my friend!
5. “Just One More Episode.”
Who hasn’t fallen victim to this? You tell yourself, “Just one more episode, and then I’ll crash.” Yet, as the night unfolds, Netflix‘s hypnotic spell keeps you glued to the screen until the wee hours of the morning. Suddenly, you’re deep into the second season, questioning your life choices.
6. “I’ll Call You Back.”
You know this classic line, right? It’s like a promise wrapped in a shiny bow of false hope. It’s the ultimate way to keep someone hanging on the edge of their seat, eagerly awaiting your call that may never come. So, if you hear those words, go on with your life and let it be a delightful surprise if they follow through.
7. “I’ll Remember This, I Don’t Need To Write It Down.”
Ever witnessing a magic trick where the magician claims they can make an elephant disappear without a trace? Spoiler alert: They can’t! We all know how this ends. Moral of the story? Trust the power of sticky notes and embrace that our brains sometimes are like sieves.
8. “Your Call Is Important To Us.”
Behold the grand illusion of customer service. Well, here’s a sad truth: Your call is about as important to them as a penguin in a desert. In fact, they’re probably secretly praying that you’ll hang up and never call again. Only a few corporations are genuinely interested in helping you solve your problem.
9. “I’ll Pay You Back Soon.”
Sometimes, you may never see it again if you dare to part with your hard-earned cash. So, here’s a brilliant rule of thumb: only lend money you’re perfectly fine waving goodbye to forever. Think of it as a generous donation to the “Fund for Friends Who Suddenly Develop Amnesia When It’s Time to Repay.” And if someone surprises you by coughing up the dough, that’s great!
10. “I’m Sorry.”
These are the magical words that supposedly make everything better. People use them like a verbal band-aid that people slap on every situation, whether or not they genuinely mean it. But sorry doesn’t always cut it. It often feels like an automated response that people blurt out because they think it’s the socially acceptable thing to do.
So, next time someone says sorry, be like one contributor who says, “I first ask ‘sorry for what?’ Make them squirm a little, and if they don’t pause and think for a bit, then the lie is obvious, and that doesn’t get an answer.”
11. “I Won’t Get Mad If You Tell The Truth.”
This is an infamous line that parents, teachers, and even sneaky partners love throwing at us. They will certainly get mad. Maybe not Hulk-smash-everything mad, but angry nonetheless. But hey, if you confess, they might go easy on you. It’s like our legal system’s guilty plea — it won’t make you magically innocent, but it might shave off some time from your punishment.
12. “I’m Not Racist, But…”
Oh boy, this one comes with some world-class mental gymnastics! Whenever someone starts a sentence with “I’m not racist, but…” you know what’s coming next is utterly racist. They’ll twist and turn their words and attempt to contort logic. Sorry, buddy, but we see through your weak attempt to justify bigotry.
13. “I Don’t Care What We Eat.”
These are the famous words of someone who claims they have no preference regarding food. Sounds simple, right? Wrong! You suggest one thing, and they shoot it down. You offer another, and they’re suddenly allergic to it. Good luck trying to figure out what they actually want to eat.
14. “It’s Nice To Meet You.”
Let’s all be honest; it’s often a polite lie. We say it with a smile, but deep down, we wonder if we’ll remember their name in the next two seconds. It’s a whirlwind of handshakes, forced small talk, and awkward attempts at pretending to be interested. But it’s the thought that counts, right?
15. “Jesus Was White.”
This one has caused more trouble than a bull in a china shop. It’s like a lie that keeps on giving — giving pain and torment. It’s up there on the list of the greatest lies ever told. To set the record straight, Jesus was more likely rocking a tan than a porcelain complexion.
16. “Happy To Help / My Pleasure.”
We’ve all heard this at work, especially when talking to bosses or customers. But let’s be honest here, most of the time, they’re not exactly “happy” to help. As one person points out, “It is just my job. But I have to pretend to be so happy and grateful to do it on top of everything else when I’m usually just … neutral at best.”
17. “I’ll Be There.”
We’ve all made this promise at some point. Sometimes, life happens, and sometimes we’re more likely to be fashionably late, lost, or caught up in a Netflix binge than showing up on time or at all.
18. “Go On; I’m Listening.”
Sure, we say it with the best intentions, but our minds tend to wander to distant lands filled with our fantasies, deepest desires, fears, and worries. So if someone says this, don’t be surprised if they look puzzled when you ask for their thoughts.
19. “I’m a Good Person.”
Now, we’re not saying everyone is terrible. But good people don’t need to shout it from the rooftops at every opportunity. Think of it like that friend who keeps reminding you they’re on a diet while devouring a plate of nachos. Actions speak louder than self-proclaimed goodness, people!
20. “I’ll Do It Later.”
Who else is a king of the art of postponing everything until it becomes an emergency? We often promise ourselves that we’ll “get to it soon,” but most times, “soon” becomes never. Later might be the distant cousin of never.
21. “Sorry, I Can’t; I’m Busy / Have Plans.”
Most people use this excuse when they want some alone time or prefer a date with pajamas and a tub of ice cream. We think we’re right about the “plans” being about binge-watching our favorite shows and avoiding social interaction. No shame!
22. “I Forgive You.”
Forgiveness can be tough, but sometimes we say it just to avoid a never-ending argument or because we don’t want to admit we’re still holding a grudge. Deep down, we think, “I’ll forgive you… eventually… maybe… with enough pleading.”
23. “I Had Fun. We Should Do This Another Time.”
This statement grew from a genuine display of interest into a pretty popular lie. A commenter shares his experience: “I said this sincerely once after a first date, and she thought I wasn’t into her because apparently nobody says this sincerely.” And he’s not alone in this experience.
24. “You’ll Understand When You Get Older.”
This time-honored line is trendy among older folks when they can’t explain something. This lie is how they say, “I can’t explain this to you, so let’s say it’ll make sense one day.” Spoiler alert: It usually doesn’t. One person confirms this by saying, “I’m 70, and I still don’t understand.”
Source: (Reddit).
Boloere Seibidor, fondly called B.S. is a Nigerian-based writer and poet. Her favorite topics to cover include music, especially Hip-Hop, film, lifestyle, and fashion. She’s been published by Feral Journal, Fantasy Magazine, The Temz Review, and most notably, Wealth of Geeks. She enjoys romantic dinners, movie nights, and touring new sites. When she’s not writing, she’s delving back in time to the underground world of Hip-Hop, watching TikTok, or visiting the cinema.
