Buy Pumpkins in October—and 4 More Money Lessons From Homer Simpson

It’s October, which means leaves are changing color, temperatures are falling, and football is in full swing. According to Homer Simpson, it also means it’s time to invest in pumpkins—though not to cash in.

One of the best-known characters in television history, Homer is the family patriarch on FOX’s (FOX) “The Simpsons,” the longest-running scripted American prime-time television series at 36 seasons. He is also an investor—though not a particularly savvy one.

Here are some of Homer’s classic takes on money and investing over the course of its 770-plus episodes.

Peak Pumpkin Investing

The 1995 episode “Homer vs. Patty and Selma” begins at Moe’s Tavern, where Homer hands out cigars.

Asked about his largesse, Homer says, “This year I invested in pumpkins. They’ve been going up the whole month of October. And I got a feeling they’re gonna peak right around … January. And bang, that’s when I’ll cash in!”

Homer—apparently unaware the reason pumpkin sales have been increasing is because it’s Halloween—loses his entire investment and has to borrow money from his twin sisters-in-law, Patty and Selma, who proceed to make his life miserable.

$20 Can Buy Many Peanuts

In the 1993 episode “Boy Scoutz ‘N the Hood,” Homer reaches under his couch which searching for a peanut. Instead he finds a $20 bill and is disappointed, leading to one of his numerous conversations with his brain.

Homer: “Oh, 20 dollars…I wanted a peanut!”
Homer’s brain: “Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts!”
Homer: “Explain how.”
Homer’s brain: “Money can be exchanged for good and services.”
Homer: “Woo-hoo!”

Homer then trips on the peanut and falls down.

The $20 bill flies out the window and ultimately is found by his son, Bart, and Bart’s friend Milhouse, who spend it on an all-syrup “Super Squishy” at the Kwik-E-Mart. (The boys go on a sugar bender and Bart discovers the next morning that he signed up for the geeky Junior Campers. Homer later sees Bart in his uniform reading a book, and—ever supportive—says, “Well, if it isn’t the leader of the wiener patrol, boning up on his nerd lessons.”)

A Four-Day Weekend!

In the 1994 episode “Lisa’s Rival,” Homer and Bart find an overturned truck has spilled 500 pounds of sugar all over the road. Homer shovels it into his trunk and decides to sell it directly to consumers, even though his daughter Lisa complains the sugar has “nails and broken glass in it.” (To which Homer responds, “Those are prizes!”)

Homer skips work at the nuclear power plant and goes door-to-door trying to sell his sugar supply—strangely taking the bus instead of his car. He has little success, leading to a tremendous exchange with his wife, Marge.

Homer: “And you didn’t think I’d make any money. I found a dollar while I was waiting for the bus.”Marge: “While you were out ‘earning’ that dollar, you lost $40 by not going to work. The plant called and said if you don’t come in tomorrow, don’t bother coming in Monday.”
Homer: “Woo-hoo! A four-day weekend!”

I Hope ‘Plunging’ Means ‘Up’

In the 2001 episode “HOMЯ,” Homer cashes out his life savings to invest in a company called Animotion.

Homer excitedly watches the local news to see anchor Kent Brockman give the day’s stock market report.

Brockman: “Animotion is up an eighth …”
Homer: “YES!”
Brockman: “… after plunging 75 points this morning.” 
Homer: “Oh, I hope ‘plunging’ means ‘up,’ and ’75’ means ‘200.’”

Brockman promptly adds that Animotion “declared super-duper bankruptcy, which is terrible news for the company’s only stockholder, Homer Simpson.”

Tomacco

The 1999 episode “E-I-E-I-(Annoyed Grunt)” finds Homer on a farm, growing a plutonium-enriched crop called “Tomacco,” a hybrid of a tomato and tobacco. The product tastes terrible—”This tastes like Grandma!” blissfully clueless second grader Ralph Wiggum proclaims—but is highly addictive.

The product’s success catches the attention of executives at Laramie Cigarettes, who offer Homer $150 million for the rights to Tomacco. Homer rejects the offer and demands $150 *billion*—ultimately getting nothing as Tomacco-addicted animals devour the crop.