More than ever before, I feel like I’m under a constant barrage of targeted reminders to buy more stuff. More tech, more kids’ toys, more dog treats, better cars. If I had a dollar for every time I got sucked into a 20-minute review for some cool new piece of tech on YouTube, I’d…well maybe I could just buy that new iPhone after all!
If I acted on every impulse the internet threw my way, I wouldn’t be able to take my kids to the Outer Banks next summer. I wouldn’t have space in my spending plan for my YMCA membership, which brings me so much peace of mind. My wife and I might not be able to afford babysitting for a weekly date night. Oh and I’d need a bigger house to fit it all, too!
You’ve probably heard the advice before, “Buy fewer things and more experiences.” It’s practically a truism at this point. We all nod our head at this sage advice, but very few of us actually do it. Why is that?
YNAB educator, Ben M., dove into the research for this topic in a fantastic Sketchy Advice video and emerged with some surprising discoveries.
Let’s talk about why prioritizing experiences can feel contrary to our natural wiring. Then I’ll share some tips on how you can gear your YNAB categories to put experiences front and center and share some ideas for the upcoming holidays.
The memory dividend: Why experiences are worth it
Even though many agree that experiences generally provide more value than things, we have a tendency toward prioritizing things anyway. That’s because things seem more permanent.
You buy a laptop, and it’s with you for years—something tangible you can hold onto, something that feels like a solid return on investment. On the other hand, a weekend getaway seems fleeting, just a blip in time. You might even forget most of the details.
But here’s the twist: Experiences bring lasting happiness precisely because they’re fleeting. That’s what makes them special.
When you buy an experience, you’re not just paying for that singular event. You’re paying for every time you get to relive it, reminisce, and rediscover joy in the memories. Think of it like this: experiences age like wine, while things age like milk.
Experiences bring lasting happiness precisely because they’re fleeting. That’s what makes them special.
A few years ago, Ben went on a road trip with some friends. He drove all the way from Kansas to Virginia, and while the journey was long, uncomfortable, and had its share of frustrations (like way too much candy and nerves about the car breaking down), it’s not the bad stuff he remembers. What sticks with him is the fun he had belting out “Take Me Home, Country Roads” as they crossed into West Virginia—the silly moments that remind him of his friends.
Contrast that with the laptop he bought around the same time. At first it was the coolest piece of tech, but fast forward a few years, and now it’s scratched, slow, and frustrating to use.
The laptop could easily be replaced—there’s nothing special about it. But that road trip? It’s irreplaceable. It’s a part of Ben’s life that continues to bring joy every time he thinks about it.
That’s what Bill Perkins, in his book Die With Zero, calls “memory dividends.” You’re not just buying the initial happiness from the experience—you’re buying every ounce of joy that comes from remembering it.
Practical tips on elevating experiences
So we’ve acknowledged that experiences are often more valuable than things—that the permanence of stuff is actually an illusion. What systems can we put in place to ensure our spending lines up with our values? How can we live more mindfully in this area? Here are a few tips to get you started.
1. Trade stuff for experiences.
Now, I’m not suggesting you sell everything you own and hit the road in an RV (unless that’s your dream, then by all means, go for it!). But what if you started to look at the things you own as conduits for experiences?
Take stock of your possessions. That dusty guitar in the corner? Maybe it’s time to pull it out and do a sing-along with your kids. That spice you bought once and never used? Challenge yourself to cook something new with it. Or maybe you’ve got a game sitting on the shelf that’s perfect for a night of fun with friends or family. If you can’t find a use for those dusty old items, sell them and use the money for a new experience instead.
2. When you’d normally buy something new, create an experience instead.
Or maybe you need to forego the stuff for a memorable experience instead. My oldest daughter just turned ten years old last summer. For such a big milestone, I wanted to get her something really special. But I had the hardest time finding the right thing. A new video game might be cool, but she already plays so many. A new set of art supplies? Her grandmother just gave her a nice box of markers last Christmas.
Then, my wife had the brilliant idea of curating a tabletop RPG experience for her and five of her closest friends. We pulled out our box of dice, I printed out some pictures of different kinds of faeries and made character sheets for each of them with some simple stats. I was worried they wouldn’t be into it, but boy was I wrong. They were positively unhinged, let me tell you, full of wildly creative solutions to every puzzle and fight. We told an amazing story together, and we had the very best time.
I could have gotten my daughter another toy for her tenth birthday. After all, that’s what you do for birthday gifts, right? But after a period of initial fun, the new thing would have quickly gathered dust. But this was an experience we will talk about and laugh about for years.
3. Set up your categories to prioritize experiences
If you’re already using YNAB, take a hard look at your categories. How many of them are about engaging in new experiences and how many are about acquiring new things? Are there some categories you can delete or de-prioritize with a lower target in favor of boosting your savings toward experiences?
Now, I’m not saying you should neve prioritize possessions. We’ve just seen that possessions can be the means for a new experience. This practice (and the whole practice of Giving Every Dollar a Job) is about thinking hard about what you want out of life. If your categories reflect a bias toward things, ask yourself if that lines up with what you really want? If it doesn’t, making changes is the right thing to do.
Maybe renaming or reorganizing your categories is all you need to do. If you have a category called “Acquire more board games” it may lead you to become a tabletop game packrat (I don’t have a problem. You do!). What if you titled that category “Tabletop fun with friends” instead? How would that change your mindset? How would that change the way you used the money in that category?
Maybe you have some experience-focused categories already but they are languishing way down at the bottom of the screen. Move those categories to the top of your budget so they stay at the top of your mind. Better yet, pin those categories or add them to a YNAB widget on your phone.
4. Have an experienced-focus holiday season
The holidays are coming up fast! (You’ve been saving for them all year, right!?) It’s so easy to get caught up with buying ALL THE THINGS for your friends and family. The air gets colder and dryer, the streets are bedecked with lights and mistletoe, and suddenly you’re compelled to enter a store and acquire more and more stuff.
Instead, why not give your friends and family the gift of experiences this holiday season? Rather than a cool new gadget or decorative piece of pottery, do a little research and find something fun you can do together. Maybe Taylor Swift is on tour again this spring (I don’t know, isn’t she always on tour?). Gift yourself and your friend some tickets for Christmas so you can look forward to it together.
Maybe it’s as simple as tickets for the whole family to the zoo or a gift card to your favorite restaurant along with a nice note saying you want to go out—just the two of you. Maybe you do buy them something physical that will help facilitate fun experiences together—a video game you can play together or matching outfits that you can sport together at the next family reunion.
Finding the perfect gift for the people you love the most can be tough, but this framework of focusing on experiences opens up a ton of possibilities.
Make your money reflect what matters most to you.
At YNAB, we believe how you spend your money is a reflection of your values. When you prioritize experiences, you’re investing in more than just fleeting moments. You’re investing in a lifetime of happiness and memories that will continue to pay dividends long after the moment has passed.
So, the next time you’re deciding how to spend your money, ask yourself: Will this bring lasting joy? Will it give me something to reminisce about and relive? Chances are, the experience will outshine any physical possession. Experiences may seem fleeting, but like a fine wine, their value only grows richer with time.
There is no better way to discover what you want out of life than to consistently Give Every Dollar a Job. Sign up for a free trial of YNAB today, and we’ll show you how.
YNAB IRL: Darío, the Eclipse Master!
In the early 2000s, Darío Martinez had all the possessions he could ever want, but no savings to speak of. After a huge economic downturn in his country led to unemployment and runaway inflation, Darío’s life turned upside down. He spent a decade spinning his wheels until he found YNAB. Now, he’s spending his hard-earned money on awesome experiences, like seeing three different total solar eclipses in the past seven years!
Of course, I tried several apps, but nothing worked with my habits, all of them were just tracking apps. Then in 2012, I remarried and in 2013 my second daughter was born. I needed to get serious about money, so I got my hands on YNAB and while I had rocky first years with it, I knew there was something inherently different about it. By 2016 I was in such a better shape that I pitched my wife the idea of spending a good chunk of money to travel to Tennessee to witness the August 21, 2017 Total Solar Eclipse. She agreed and since then we’ve witnessed the 2019 TSE in Chile and the April 8, 2024 TSE in Arkansas (the last two with the kids).
Traveling is a huge thing for us, but we never had a chance to do much of it before YNAB. We’ve also gone to Disney, Las Vegas, Canada, and Hawaii without getting into debt. We are also homeowners (something that is extremely difficult for the Dominican people than people in developed countries).
We’re planning on going to Spain in 2026, Egypt in 2027, and South Africa in 2030. YNAB has become the enabler of our trips and we’re grateful for that.
