Sometimes you just have to look at something and not help but be impressed. Whether it’s someone’s skills, a piece of art, a landscape, or even a person’s sense of style, it all has the potential to leave us speechless. Mustaches are included in this, too! Yes, sir, the mustache has been a popular pick for facial hair for a long, long time. Even in the realm of movies, there have been vast arrays of impressive lip foliage. A collection of fellow stash lovers came together to name some of the greatest upper lipholstery they’ve seen in movies.
1- Tombstone (1993)
Sure, you could watch a Western-style film for the action and thrills from the days of cowboys and showdowns at high noon. But why would you want that when you can watch for all the fantastic flavor savers? Well, lucky for you, by watching Tombstone, you can have both. Three brothers have decided to put their gun-slinging days behind them to settle down and start a business.
Unfortunately, this seems easier said than done as a Cowboy gang selects them as a target. Now along with one brother’s best friend, the brothers work to bring order back to the land. Sounds pretty fun, right? Well, that isn’t even the best part. Every one of our four buckaroos has quite the impressive face lace, all of which were actually grown by the actors.
2- Gangs of New York (2002)
This movie’s best bristle baton winner goes to William Cutting, aka Bill the Butcher. He is the main villain of this historical crime film set in 1860s New York. A young man has decided to take revenge against his father’s killer, Mr. Butcher himself, and he knows it can only be done by integrating into the gang leader’s inner circle. In the film and in real life, William is a powerful and violent gang leader.
I can’t lie; the mustache that he possesses does help to display such energy from him in the film with its size and the drama of its curl.
3- The Hateful Eight (2015)
Perhaps the winner out of all 15 of these movies, Kurt Russell in The Hateful Eight, has a mustache that could bring you to tears! A commenter describes it as “one of the most glorious mustaches I’ve ever seen,” and I can’t help but agree. Another Western movie centers around bounty hunter John “The Hangman” Ruth (played by Kurt Russel) as he travels toward post-Civil War Wyoming with his fugitive prisoner.
The two become four when crossing paths with another bounty hunter and a man claiming to be a sheriff. Attempting to find shelter from a blizzard, the four reach a stagecoach stopover and come across four more strangers. Now, all eight are unsure if they’ll make it to their stops at all. While that all sounds quite exciting, I wonder why John Ruth even needs to seek shelter with a mustache that large and majestic.
4- Murder on the Orient Express (2017)
Based on the book by Agatha Christie, a luxurious train is traveling through Europe when its trip is disrupted by a murder, causing a race against the clock. An avalanche soon stops the train, and Hercule Poirot, the world’s greatest detective, and owner of a fabulous mouth mop, arrives to search for clues before the killer has the chance to strike again. If Kurt Russell’s John Ruth is in first place for best mustache, then Sir Kenneth Charles Branagh as Hercule Poirot is a very close second. Seriously, that thing wraps around his head!
5- Smokey and the Bandit (1983)
Though it may not be as impressive as some of the other grass grins on this list, I do have to admire Bandit’s well-kept facial hair. Truck driver Bo “Bandit” Darville has gone on a trip to pick up some Coors for Big Enos, a man who just wants to sit back, watch a truck show and drink the lovely beer.
Only trouble is that the beer’s illegal to sell east of the Mississippi River without a permit. While trying to make it to Texas and back to Georgia in 28 hours, Bandit picks up a hitchhiking girl and grabs the sheriff’s attention, who wants her to marry his son. Again, while Bandit’s mustache may not be as face-encompassing as others on the list, it is still quite the iconic look.
6- Pulp Fiction (1994)
I don’t think I could possibly write an article on magnificent mustaches without mentioning Samuel L. Jackson’s iconic look from Pulp Fiction. He and John Travolta play two hitmen with a habit of holding philosophical discussions. The movie has entwining storylines that interlock with their own. I’m not sure if it’s the horseshoe mustache or the mutton chops, but it makes Jackson’s look in this unforgettable.
7- No Country for Old Men (2007)
We have another impressive in-style mustache, ladies and gentlemen! In fact, it appears quite similar to Bandit’s from earlier on. A man finds the gruesome outcome of a drug deal while out hunting. He takes the money that was left behind and is now hunted by a remorseless killer on his trail. All the while, an aging sheriff is also looking for the hunter to protect him. At the center of all this is our hunter Llewelyn Moss, played by Josh Brolin, and his well-maintained face caterpillar.
8-Anchorman (2004)
Of course, being a newsman means you have to be well-groomed, but that doesn’t stop his mighty stash from being absolutely lovely. Burgundy is a popular anchorman on television in the 1970s. A new female reporter enters the male-dominated ring and soon outshines Ron in news broadcasting. After growing jealous of all her attention, he accidentally lets something vulgar slip while on air costing him his career. Still, there may be a chance at redemption when a shocking story breaks at the San Diego Zoo.
9-Duck Soup (1933)
Weird name, an even weirder stash. To call Rufus T. Firefly’s dirt squirrel luscious would be putting it lightly. That thing straight up looks like a brick on his face, like he stuck a bowtie under his nose; it really depends on the angle. Firefly has been thrust into the role of president of Freedonia after the country has gone bankrupt. Sylvania, the bordering country, sends spies into Freedonia in an attempt to start a revolution after detecting weakness in its leadership.
Clashing with the Sylvanian ambassador, Firefly, and the others cause a great deal of mayhem, and the two countries get close to war. Personally, I think that if everyone were given Firefly’s mustache, all problems would be over.
10- Quigley Down Under (1990)
My goodness, does Matthew Quigley have one heck of a goatee mustache combo! Just looking at it says, “I’m a hero!” Quigley is an American rifleman traveling to Australia to answer the ad for a sharpshooter. After meeting his employer, he learns the dark truth about the job involving the shooting of Aboriginal Australians, the indigenous peoples of Australia.
The two men fight, and Quigley is knocked out, left with the local crazy woman to die in the outback. Fortunately, they are rescued by the Aboriginal Australians, and they begin to plot their revenge.
11-Animal House (1978)
Bruce McGill plays Daniel Simpson “D-Day” Day from Delta Tau Chi House, a place well known for being rowdy. Though he may not be considered a main character of the movie, he still has a snot mop worth mentioning. In this movie, two freshmen attempt to pledge to the conceited Omega Theta Pi House and are rejected. They then try to join Delta Tau Chi and are in. Unfortunately, the dean has it out for members of Delta, placing them on “Double Secret Probation” and assigning Omega’s president to get their charter revoked.
12-Hook (1991)
Captain Hook has always been a man considered quite the gentleman in terms of his attire and mannerism. So, it only makes sense that his face furniture be just as elegant, and oh, it is. In this version of the famous villain, Hook’s mustache is a well-groomed handlebar with perfect curls.
He has stolen the middle-aged lawyer Peter Banning’s, a grown-up Peter Pan, son away to Neverland. Peter is forced to remember his past when he left Neverland, abandoning Tinkerbell and the Lost Boys. This may be more of a challenge for him since the boys understandably hold bitterness towards Peter for growing up and now see another as their leader.
13- Borat (2006)
Borat: our favorite reporter from Kazakhstan and impressive whisker owner. Love him or hate him, you gotta admit it takes talent to keep a lip toupee like that. The original film follows Borat as he travels to America to film a documentary about why the country is so great. Ridiculous events occur as he offends practically everyone he comes across, falls in love with actress Pamela Anderson, and goes on a cross-country trip to make her his wife.
14- Bronson (2009)
I can’t help but look at Tom Hardy’s version of Charles Bronson and see the stereotypical circus strongman. Of course, that helps make the mustache even more fitting. The movie is based on the true story of Charles Bronson, a prisoner in the English penal system. Originally, Bronson was arrested for robbing a jewelry store and sentenced to seven years. His incorrigible, violent behavior leads to trouble with guards, inmates, and even a dog, leading him to spend most of his time in solitary confinement.
15- Tetris (2023)
Henk Rogers may not have the most elaborate, fancy mustache in the world, but it fits his face quite nicely, and I appreciate that immensely. Plus, the fact that it’s in a movie about the origins of a classic video game may help it a bit, too. Tetris follows the real-life story of Hank Rogers, a man who discovers the game in 1988. He risks it all to travel to the Soviet Union and join forces with the creator of the game, Alexey Pajitnov, to publish the game and show it to the masses.
Source: (Reddit).
